Is that cabbage in your bra????

So...breastfeeding is really hard...don't know if has to do with me missing out on that last hormone surge at the end and that moment that I was looking so forward to--when she emerges finally and they put her naked and greasy over my stomach and they bring her to my breast...well anyway didn't happen and unfortunately by the time they did try to put her on my chest I was practically delirious, numb from the waste down and she was two hours of frustrated. All I wanted to do was hold her against me, not have the nurse pushing her mouth down on my breast spouting technical vocab at me about latching, etc, while she cried and protested. Things have been hard on the feeding front ever since. Luckily I think I have made a breakthrough today, thanks to some cabbage leaves and a very expensive breast pump rented from Jillian's Drawers. It is still frustrating for both of us, entailing tears on both sides and a whole host of coaches cheering us on and pushing our body parts together. After each feeding, Azalea falls asleep until the next one. And I try to get hugs from people--like my mom....